246 Degrees (Kelvin)

(part the twenty third of "Dreams Can Come True in Thirty Five MInutes")

The bunsen burners had all been turned off for the night, but the remaining stagnant gas was strong enough to swirl her view of the test tubes and beakers lined the crude and makeshift shelving that lined the walls of "The Burnt Anus" - UWM's famed converted-barn/laboratory. This was science history, and Katja had a front row seat!

At the end of every beauty pageant, right before they announce the runner-up, the host will explain that the runner up will be called upon should the winner be unable to fulfil her duties as pageant winner. Rarely however, does the host go into any detail as to what exactly those duties are. In the case of most beauty pageants, these so-called "duties" revolve nearly 100% around personal appearances, autograph signings, and competing in further pageants. However, in the case of Miss Wisconsin, in addition to the parades and the mall tours, she is also given the position of "research assistant" for the University of Wisconsin at Madison's radical biotechnology program.

Dr. Phregmond Sleeve and Katja had been conducting a battery of tests whose purpose was to discover at what temperature a Gyro (the roasted lamb, onion, and tomato on pita staple of Greek lunch cuisine, not the mechanical grativy-measuring spinning device) would become a functioning human liver. Thus far they had managed to create an AM radio and an Octopus-like creature whose face bore a striking resemblance to Boston Red Sox relief pitcher Curtis Leskanic, but it wasn't until that afternoon that they began seeing signs that they were close to their goal.

Katja's job, as "research assistant," was to spend the night attached to the external "liver" while being intravenously fed pure grain alcohol to test its processing capability. In addition, she was responsible for sweeping the lab and washing the building's windows, but this task would only take a few hours despite Katja's prosthetic foot having been recently replaced by a sun-dried tomato and asiago foccacia by some clever pranksters.

To help her pass the time, Dr. Sleeve had given her a caricature sketch of John Stamos, a John Cafferty record, and three pair of dice with which to practice her craps game.

This would be a long one.