Tommy Thirty Two Tone

I called 867-5309.

I did not speak to Jenny.

Jenny was not available, as she was busy walking out from the shadows.

Like a dream.

I did, however, speak to Jenny's mom, who informed me of her whereabouts.

"Sorry, she's not here, Jeff. She's walking like a dream out from the shadows." she said to me.

"When's she gonna be back, bitch?" I asked.

"THAT'S SO MEAN!" she replied.

"I'm sorry. Sometimes I get a little irate, given the state of my career. Being that I was the former star of Fantasy Island, you'd think I could land better roles than this Spy Kids crap." I said.

"Wait...Jeff, do you mean to tell me that you think you're Ricardo Montalban?" she asked.

"Yes!" I ejaculated.

"Did you just ejaculate?" she said.

"...." (I did not feel comfortable answering that.)

"Anyway, that's crazy." she said.

And then I electrocuted her dog, which I had been holding hostage.

Or maybe it wasn't her dog. Maybe it was her favorite pair of courduroy overalls.

Whatever it was, it got ten thousand volts through it.

So let this be a lesson to you. Just because you take five or six days off from writing, that doesn't mean you'll actually have any good ideas when you come back.